I worked at Subway...part 2!

First and foremost, thank Jah that Brennan can actually write. His post was so rad. Anyway, here's my say in the great Subway ordeal...

I only worked as a sandwich artist for three months when I was 15 (worst summer ever.) I totally hated that shit. I only did it because my parents demanded that I get a job and I figured it would be easy, breezy, cover girl. It ended up sucking donkey. I worked with a bunch of dirty hippies that did massive bong rips in the walk in cooler (where all your food was stored,) a yuppie fuck who was retarded, and a middle aged woman that had worked there for at least the last 13 years, if not more. Also, she had a horse face so brutal I constantly fought the urge to feed her a carrot. I went in on a daily basis wishing everyone had died the night prior. Two of our regulars, that came in at least five nights a week, was a grandmother and her 13 year old grandson. Same order every single fucking time. A foot long club, on white, with nothing but as much mayonnaise and black olives as we'd allow. It got to the point where I was going way overboard just to fuck with them and they loved every single minute of it. Sickos! My only hope is that they're rotting somewhere now. In that time, I came up with this gem:

Make it a foot long, or a six inch if you're a sissy. I like wheat, but I'm pretty sure there's some sort of Italian bread now that would totally slay for this sammich. Order a chicken breast with extra cheese (editor's note: super stoked Brennan loves the extra cheese! Fuck yeah dude!) Next, and this is where it gets squirrelly, tell that sumbitch behind the counter to cover that shit in the meatball sauce. They might look at you strange, but fuck 'em, its your 'mich. The only veggie you'll need is onions. Throw a decent amount on there. All you need now is a sprinkle of parmesan and oregano. Stuff it and smile knowing you totally tripped out the knob working behind the counter. They'll assume you're an aficionado on some next level shit and you know what? You will be!